To move forward, or forever chase something you can’t quite catch?
In a world where everything is screaming for your attention, the algorithm is feeding right into your insecurities, wants, and desires, and you feel so utterly short on time and head space – how do you move forward?
Do you move forward, or stay on the hamster wheel, forever chasing something you can’t quite catch?
When the world can often feel so overwhelming, you end up doing one of two things: nothing, or everything!
Yet, in both of those things, you still feel an underlying sense that you’re missing out. Whenever I sit down to consider ‘where to from here?’, or ‘what will I do next?’, I like to go back to my values and ask the question: ‘does the thing that I’m thinking of doing align with my values, and is my “why” strong enough to pull me through?’
Because when the going gets tough, these things matter.
Does what I’m thinking of doing align with my values?
I had lined up a sponsored entry into a race in Wales, for 2023 – that is where I was heading. From the outside looking in, it sounded perfect for me: a multi-day ultra-marathon in the hills (and how lucky was I to have a sponsored entry?). Initially, I was excited about the race – but the more I thought about it, the less I wanted to do it.
You see – when you say yes to one thing, you are saying no to another. In the end, the ‘why’ for that race simply wasn’t strong enough, and it wasn’t in line with my values. So, I said no. Will I feel FOMO when the race comes around? Maybe! But ultimately, I know it was the right decision.
So how do you live to your values and your ‘why’? What does that even mean, Tanya? Why is it important…and what does it have to do with the story?!
The title of the blog is Where To From Here? – so I thought I’d share my thought process on how I went from planning a stage race in Wales, to instead choosing to stay in my hometown and plan a completely different kind of adventure!
When you say yes to one thing, you are saying no to another.
How do you live to your values and your ‘why’?
I’ve chosen to stay in my hometown and plan a completely different kind of adventure!
My Two-Step Process
Here is my simple method in determining how to move forward and decide where to spend my time:
1. Determine Your Values
There are a bunch of different ways to do this. I have one method that I follow with my clients, which is part of a bigger process. In a nutshell, we write down our top 10 values and work through them to determine the top three. When you know your top three values, you can refer to this list when something arises that you are interested in, to establish whether they both align.
If they don’t, you can jog on knowing there’s a better opportunity out there for you!
If they do align, move on to Step Two.
2. Figure Out Your ‘Why’
What you’re looking to do here is list all the reasons why you want to do ‘the thing’. Once you have your list, consider each ‘why’ by the following criteria:
- Do I want to do this for me, or for someone else? (Hint: if it’s for you, your chances of success are much higher!)
- Will this drive me to show up during the hard times? Is the ‘why’ strong enough to stop me from quitting when the going gets tough? If it’s not, your sneaky brain will find all sorts of excuses, and you’ll likely believe them.
- Finally, consider if your ‘why’ align with the person you want to be. Sometimes, we want things that don’t move us towards being the person we ultimately want to be, and that’s okay. Remember, that algorithm is trying to tell you that you want things you really don’t! If you recognise it here, you might save a heap of time by avoiding things that take you off course.
By following this process, you can reduce some of the overwhelm and become really clear on what you want to do – and why you want to do it. You get a chance to step off the hamster wheel for a moment of consideration, instead of just blindly driving forward without stopping to think about where you are really going. There’s then the risk of getting years down the line and finding yourself in a place you didn’t really want to be.
So, after completing this process – what did I decide instead?
Reduce some of the overwhelm, and become really clear on what you want to do – and why you want to do it.
My top three values are freedom, adventure, and making a difference. On the surface, perhaps it looked like the Wales race could have aligned. That said, running a race of someone else’s making didn’t meet those values when I really thought about it. I could have tried to spin it to make it fit – but it just didn’t.
Instead, I let my mind wander, scheme, and dream, which lead to the idea of a Skyline Circumnavigation of Lake Wanaka – here in Otago, New Zealand.
In March 2023, I will take on an FKT (First AND Fastest Known Time!) for this route. Starting and finishing at the iconic ‘Wanaka Tree’, I will cover 200km+ over 10 major peaks with all of the vert, and a bunch of wonderful women. We will celebrate doing hard things, stepping outside our comfort zones, and the feeling of community that comes from sharing a common goal.
Why this idea?
It aligns with my value of course!
- No one has done it before, and it will take in all the major peaks around Lake Wanaka with a fair bit of off-track – so there’s the tick for the ‘adventure’ box.
- I get to choose exactly the route I take, and the mountains I want to summit. There’s my ‘freedom’.
- For this one, I’m inviting a bunch of women – from beginner runners to elite athletes – to join me, to have their own adventure within my adventure. As I write that, my heart feels full. I get to not only inspire, but also ‘make a difference’…tick, tick, tick!
My top three values are freedom, adventure,and making a difference.
I let my mind wander, scheme, and dream, which lead to the idea of a Skyline Circumnavigation of Lake Wanaka – here in Otago, New Zealand.
This is not the easy way out! This is all of my own design. This requires landowner permissions, logistics, and planning well beyond turning up to the start-line of a race. This right here is my dream event – and it’s that which will get me out of bed and get me through the hard times. To both get me to the start-line, and drive me to the finish.
I’ll be raising money for Women in Sport, and you can follow the journey getting there and throughout on my socials, via your favourite platform: @runliketanya.
Sometimes, it feels like life is hurtling at warp speed and you’re just along for the ride – but with a moment taken to consider what you are doing and why, you get to take control, create amazing memories, and live a life you’re proud of.
You can follow my journey at @runliketanya
So – what’s your ‘why’?