Run Like a Girl: What I Know Now That I Wish I’d Known Then

As women, we are on the cusp of a revolution. In fact, we – each and every one of us – are the revolution.

Women everywhere are questioning the boundaries that have been put against them by society and themselves. In asking those questions, we are taking the steps to create the equality and equity we desire.

We have come a long way in breaking the bias, and women are feeling more confident and capable to take on challenges that break the norms and question the stereotypes. Nonetheless, there is still work to be done.

As women, we are on the cusp of a revolution. Credit: Ben Wallbank

I believe, on a personal level, it comes down to three things: belief, being, and possibility. These are personal qualities and thoughts that we can foster in ourselves, and in fostering these things we can achieve goals beyond our wildest dreams.

I didn’t really have an understanding of these concepts growing up. To a large extent, I didn’t really understand I had much of a choice in what I did. There were social norms, and things that everyone did. I followed on, without questioning them.

Following along lead me to some dark places. The revelation that came from the following concepts changed my whole life trajectory and has allowed me to build a life I love in doing the things that bring me joy and add value to the world. A win-win, in my books.

My home in Lake Hawea. Credit: Ben Wallbank

Let’s start with belief

and in this context, belief in yourself.

 It’s interesting when you take on challenges that will stretch you beyond your skillset; something I have done many times over the years, through the big challenges I have taken on.  Some people will jump in behind you and back you all the way. Others, however, will judge you. Over the years, it’s judgment I have experienced.

This was always particularly hard because I was putting in the work, and those that judged never asked me. Instead, they just looked to my past and made an assumption about my ability for the future, based on where I’d been. This is where my belief in myself was essential.

Finishing Kayzie Kapers 100-mile race! Credit: Ben Wallbank

The definition of belief is trust, faith, or confidence in someone or something.

I believe the greatest chance we can give ourselves to be successful is to believe in ourselves. You see, I believe it all starts with belief. In fact, I’d go so far as to say it can only start when we believe we can start.

I believed – and I encourage you to believe as well. Believe you are capable of anything – then go out and do it!

Sunset mountains. Credit: Ben Wallbank

From belief comes being.

When I had the judgment coming my way – when I was doing things I had never done before, and things that other women like me had never done before – this is where I had to be the person that could complete the challenges I set myself. Be the person who achieves the goal.

There is a model that I live by:

Be, do, have.

People often think they need to have the skills to do the things, to then be the person – but that is actually back-to-front.

When I chose the challenges I took on over the years, I was not a person who had done anything like it before. In each case, I had started to acquire the skills I needed, and I knew by the time I started the challenges that I would be able to do them.

Visiting wild places. Credit: Ben Wallbank

So – first, we must be the person.  That means taking on the beliefs of and acting like the person we want to be.  Who would you be if you had completed whatever goal you wish to take on? What would you think? How would you behave? 

Answer those questions, then embody that from the start! Don’t wait until you’ve achieved it – because paradoxically, to get to that person at the end, you have to start as that person in the beginning.

Ascending Single Cone – a challenging mountaineering objective. Credit: Ben Wallbank

Then, do the things that person would do. This step is imperative, because it is in the doing that our goals come to be. Here, you do the things following from the first step, in line with the actions of the person you are being.

Finally, if you ‘be’ and ‘do’ long enough, you will eventually have what you desire.

In a nutshell: it is cultivating thoughts and beliefs and taking action, until you find yourself with your desired outcome.

Winter adventures – on my way to giving ‘snow shoeing’ a go! Credit: Ben Wallbank

Finally, possibility…

a concept and thought that must be present through this process.

For this, I would like to propose one question that can move us forward. One question that has driven me over the last 5 years, which quite simply is:

‘What else is possible?’

Often, we become caught up in the pace of life and the things we ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ be doing.  Sometimes, it’s easy to become busy and forget that we are the masters of our destiny. However, we are all capable of stopping for a minute to ask ourselves this simple question.

Confidently scrambling across the trails! Credit: Ben Wallbank

The purpose here is to think beyond where we are currently, to question the beliefs that we have spoken of, and to question who we are being and who we want to be.

This question is at the heart of all great explorers, all change-makers, and every single person who has ever stepped out of their comfort zone. Sometimes – not consciously or intentionally – this question was somewhere at the core of every human decision that has been made, where someone did something different or changed the course of their life.

Climbing! Credit: Ben Wallbank

What I wish I’d known,

and the advice I would give to my younger self…

So many of our thoughts are ‘unintentional’, going unnoticed and unquestioned. What I didn’t know when I was younger was that I could get intentional with my thoughts. I could question boundaries, step outside of the norms, and carve a life in line with my values and beliefs.

We are incredibly lucky to be living in a time when we have more knowledge and opportunities than ever before – but there is still work to be done.  There are still strong, underlying narratives around what it means to be a woman, and accepted norms around how a woman’s life should play out over her years.

The revolution that is now, that we are all part of, starts with us being consciously aware of our thoughts; choosing the beliefs, actions, and goals that we want. The revolution is asking what else is possible, dreaming big dreams, and going out and being those people.

The places I get to go in the mountains. Credit: Ben Wallbank

If you were given the chance, what would you tell your younger self?